Thursday, April 26, 2012

Behind the Stripper Pole

I work day shifts at the club because it allows me to have a social life, get my homework done, sleep, eat. You know important things. But because I work the day shift, there is a lot of down time...

No one ever really thinks strippers have down time. Usually there is a two hour period between 6:30 and 8:30 when it is really dead. Today there was a total of ZERO people at the club at 6:00. All the older people are at home with their families. The young crowd isn't ready to go out yet.

So what do we do?

Most days, up in the dressing room, we gossip about who got arrested. Who got knocked up by which bouncer. What regular wanted to do what? with his what? Complain about never having enough money. Talk about our boyfriends, husbands, or kids. Sometimes we go onto fourth stage and practice pole tricks, or have dance parties. Some girls do shots. When I have homework I am sitting up in the dressing room working on that.

Then there are the days where there's an attitude in the air and no one wants to sit still.

Freedom of speech is something we, Americans, hold dear to our hearts. In the stripping world there is an even greater freedom. Combine this with little to no judgement, and that leads to some interesting conversations.

Being a stripper at an all nude club leads to anatomical discoveries. For one, I now know what fake boobs feel like. I also know the difference between "good" fake boobs, and "bad" fake boobs. Before stripping, I never knew that some vaginas are cute and some are really ugly.

Several months ago, on a very boring day, there were six girls sitting around upstairs in the dressing room. One of them was sitting naked, cross-legged on the counter facing the mirror. She was looking at her vagina in the mirror when she asked "do I have a cute vagina?" We all looked up as she hopped off the counter saying "I was just wondering." We all gathered in a circle. Underwear started coming off as we began to look at our own vaginas and those of our friends. As one of the girls bent over to take a closer look she stood up and said "I like yours. Your lips are tight and the same color as the rest of my skin. I have an ugly vagina. Mine looks like hamburger, and I haven't even had kids yet." We all took a closer look. Strippers have a brutally, harsh honesty policy when it comes to their friends. We all agreed "yeah, yours isn't attractive, but luckily your boobs make up for it." We all had our turn with an inspection and judgement to see if it was a cute one or an ugly one.

I don't remember the conversation, but I was teasing a friend as I was getting ready to leave for the night. We had both taken off our work "clothes" and were putting them away. After I made a great joke at her expense, she put on her sad-puppy-dog face. I laughed and right as the music completely died down I yelled "Let's naked hug it out!" Everyone in the club heard. There was an applause and an immediate chant of "Yeah, naked hug!" The DJ came into the dressing room and gave a narration of the event.

Today at work, my friend and I were getting ready for the shift. She was topless and looking at her boobs in the mirror "my nipples are changing and its weird." I walked over and looked. After a moment "You're right they are changing, that one is way pinker than the other one." She looked at me "I know they used to be really pale and now, they're bright pink. And they're so hot" as she grabbed her boob. I reached out and felt for myself. "Yep, they are unusually warm."

Pretty much if you're a stripper there is no privacy and no personal space. We often feel each other up, for many different reasons.

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