Monday, April 30, 2012

Awkward Moments at Work


Working at the club as long as I have, you collect some fun stories, some sad stories, and more than anything those super awkward moments. These moments really make the best stories. At the time you want to forget them, but once the awkward has passed it's something hilarious.

Two weeks into working, I had a very memorable moment. Growing up there was a group of college students that lived next door. They became surrogate older brothers. They'd gotten jobs and moved away when I was seventeen, and I hadn't seen them in three years. I was at work on a Saturday night. I was holding my friends drink when I finally located her. She was sitting on one guy's lap and I gave her her drink and sat on the other guy's lap. I hadn't looked at the guy's face, so I turned around and said "Hi my name's... Oh shit." Guess who? My neighbor!!! His response was "hey, you grew up." Followed by "I never, in a million years would have thought I would see you here..." After the awkward few moments passed, we had a nice time catching up. He ended up spending three hundred dollars on my friend. We both decided it would be super awkward to do that together. He did later comment on how good of a dancer I am. I think he specifically said "Looks like all that ballet paid off. And you really are flexible. Sorry that's awkward since you were naked, but I couldn't NOT look."


My boyfriend, Jamie, was in a fraternity. (I use the past tense because he is now an alum having graduated a year ago.) I am really good friends with all the guys in his frat, and I know quite a few alumni. About two months into working, I was there on a Friday night. It was about forty-five minutes to close. So right around 4:30 in the morning. I was exhausted and it was my last stage set. I was on stage, in just a thong. There was a bride at the stage with a crap ton of ones in front of her. I walked on over and said "Hi, so when's the wedding!" She looked familiar, but I figured she'd been in before. She responded "Two weeks. Hey, do you got college?" I turn and look and see Jamie's frat brother, and a good friend of ours. The bride was an alum of the sister group, which is how I knew her. My friend first said "I knew it! Does Jamie know? How long have you been working here?" After I got off stage, he and I chatted for awhile. It's nice cause the group isn't judgmental and he thought it was pretty cool I had the "balls" to do this. I thought the comment "I feel like I know you better now" was pretty comical. He also told me he needed to congratulate Jamie on how flexible I am. Now whenever he's drunk and I see him he always says "I've seen you naked. And you have awesome boobs, I just want to motorboat them." Then he gets punched.


I worked a lot of Saturday nights over the summer. I thought I was pretty safe  not running into people from school because it's a teeny tiny town and everyone vacates for the summer. There are a few people that stay for the summer for whatever reasons. I was at work last July and a guy came up to me and asked if he could get a private dance. I was like "sure" that's easy money. I don't have to convince. He was polite and didn't touch me much. He paid and said if I talked to him for a little while he'd give me another $25. I thought it was great. Easy! We started talking. I asked the basic questions. "So where do you live?" He responded with the same teeny tiny town I live in. I asked him what he did there. He told me he was working over the summer but he goes to X college (my college). At this point I respond with "Oh that's so interesting." He continues with it's a small town and there aren't really any college students that stay over the summer, so he's pretty bored. There's these two guys he knows that live above a bar downtown, and that's about the only people he knows in town for the summer. "Oh by the way you look really familiar." I respond with "Oh that's interesting." He continues talking and starts putting together all the pieces "You look really similar to the girlfriend of the guy who lives above the bar. Like, really similar." I'm caught at this point... He knows. "Yeah, that's me. Small world huh?" It's so AWKWARD. We have this unspoken 'I remember you' moment every time we see eachother. I see him at parties, and it ruins my night! The last time was at a bonfire thrown by one of the sororities, which was a lot of fun, until I saw him. He's a constant reminder that 'oh yeah, you have this crap job. And there's NO escape!!!'


I have a good friend from back home that has come to visit me. She wanted to go to the strip club to see what it was like. I took her on a Friday night, so she could see what it was like in full swing. It happened to be amateur night. She was curious to see what it was like to be on stage, so she did amateur night. She danced to Rihanna's "S&M" and now it's our song. It's a great inside joke. She came back a couple months later, and came to work with me on a Saturday night. I felt bad because there was no one to hang out with her. But luckily she is the bubbly, quirky person she is and soon made friends with a really nice group of people. They snuck her a few drinks and she got a bit tipsy. She had a lot more fun and felt more comfortable with a little bit of liquid courage. Even though I was working I kept an eye on her because I didn't want anything to happen to her. She would always come to every one of my stages. She helped me make money. We call it "bonding." I was the very last girl on stage for the night, and there were still quite a few people left. There were a bunch of drunk girls that wanted on stage. (I call this girls romanticizing the job and wanting to pretend at being a stripper for a couple minutes. Also it makes me money.) I helped three girls on stage, as well as my friend. They had fun playing on the stage, and I sat down. The guys were just throwing money onto the stage and one guy handed me a wad of sixty ones. I wasn't complaining. I didn't have to do anything and I still made money!


I'm sure I have a lot more awkward moments. But I can't think of them now. I'll have a part two later. 

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