World's Worst Stripper

I am the world's worst stripper. People don't believe me because of the amount of money I make. But really, it's true. Here's why:


1. I don't hide my hatred of my job. 


2. I don't ask for lap dances.


3. I turn down more money than I make.


4. I don't try to sell myself.


5. If I don't like you, I will tell you.


6. If I don't want to dance for you, I will tell you NO.


7. I believe that I do not deserve to be degraded.


8. If you piss me off I will hit you.


9. I am overly nice which is why people think they can use me. (Until you piss me off.)


10. If you think I am unintelligent I will kick your ass with words in three different languages, sometimes five if I feel like it.


11. I don't want to be flattered, we both know why you're here.


12. This is a stopping point for me on the road to a real career.


13. I do not stay longer at the club than I have to.


14. I do not make more money than I have to. I only make what I need.


15. I will never be a stripper. It is an occupation. I am a college student.


16. I'm ALWAYS sober. (At the club AND real life.)


Well those are sixteen reasons why I'm the worlds worst stripper. The funny thing is... being the worst stripper is the reason I make money. People like it that I'm "shy" and I "don't" know what I'm doing. Playing up the "worst" stripper is the reason why I make money. I'm fresh. I'm new. I'm the girl next door. I was once told by a customer "You're the shy girl next door I always wanted to fuck. And now, in a fantastical way I get to live it." Well I slapped him and he never got to "live" that fantasy. I just don't want to be someone's teenage fantasy. I know they'll go home and think about me, but I don't want them to come to me so I can fulfill their fantasies. I know that's what a lot of girls work for. I don't like it. I try to avoid it. I hate being a fantasy.