Blog

Today I was supposed to go to work and I was going to. I have lots of health issues. Jamie decided that I needed to start taking vitamins. Well I took all of them about half an hour before going to work. Ten minutes later I felt absolutely terrible. Why? Well the multivitamin I took has zinc in it. I can't take zinc because I have a mild allergic reaction to it in large quantities. Suffice to say I couldn't go to work. 

I'm feeling better now, not great but better. Anyways I came across this post from a blog:

http://jezebel.com/5938960/the-art-of-the-national-convention-strip-club-trend-piece?popular=true&post=52307562

I thought it was hilarious.

I agree with them. When you mention strip clubs or the fact that you're a stripper there is nothing but questions and interest. I've stopped bringing it up because people want to know what it's like and what happens behind closed doors. The question that always comes up is "So are most of the girls drug addicts/alcoholics?"

I'm not overly talkative today. I could say more, but I'm too damn tired.

Ending Conversations

In my line of work people like to ask personal questions. I don't like to talk about myself. Hell, I don't like talking about myself to my friends, at least not anything personal. When people I don't know nor like want to know about me. I end the conversation.

I've become good at ending a conversation with one line. There's an art to it. You have to give them what they want to know, but put it in a way that they won't ask any more questions.

Generally no one will ever ask me a personal question after I do this. There's this one guy though from work. I hated him anyways, but he decided he wanted to get to know me better. He started asking questions about my sex life. Which I can't stand anyways. He asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity and if I loved the guy or if it was a one night stand. I told him I was raped. Instead of the conversation being over he kept going. He got excited by the fact I was raped. He wanted to know more. He wanted to know how it happened and how many times. He's the kind of man that should just die. The world be better without them. It's interesting though. He went from being excited about me being raped to talking about spending time with his granddaughter. It just makes me wonder.

More

I'm 21 years old. I look at some people today who are my age and I look at myself. They have accomplished so much in the same period of time and I feel like I have done nothing with my life. I'm going into my junior year in college and I strip to survive. There are people that have done so much with their lives and have followed their dreams, and I feel like I'm just getting by.

I have so many things I want to do. I've always wanted to achieve something. It feels like my life is done before it's even started.

I want something more out of life than normal. I want to be more than just an ex-stripper or a mom or a wife. I want my life to be more.

Work

I haven't been to work in almost a month because I was visiting my best friend, Vera. When I got home from that trip I had to go visit my parents. I had a whole 32 hours at home when I had to rush back to my families because my dad had to have emergency surgery. So in a whole month I've only been at home for a couple days. I haven't seen Jamie much. I should go into work today, but I wanted a moment to just be at home. There's cleaning that needs to be done, but all I can seem to do is watch movies. I did work at my other job this morning, so I'm not a total lazy ass.

It seems that even when I have a day off I can't seem to completely get away from work.

A guy that I know from work from several months back texted me. Somehow he got my phone number and decided to contact me. He wanted to know if I would get together with him outside of the club. He and his "girlfriend" just broke up. His "girlfriend" is a dancer that I know. I know for a fact they weren't dating. Men lie. They lie to me all the time about dating a dancer or sleeping with a dancer to try and convince me it's okay to meet them outside of work.

Any ways... It just gets old. I feel like I never actually have a day off. Somehow these guys get my phone number. Three girls have it and they wouldn't give it out and the club doesn't have it. So it beats the hell out of me how they get my number.