Lucky

I try not to talk about Jamie a lot at work. I don't like mixing those two. It's hard to talk about work with him because he hates my job. I hate it too, but sometimes I need to talk about it. I hate talking about him at work especially to the men. When I do, it makes me feel more like a whore than usual.

I bring Jamie up for two reasons.
-The first reason is used far more often. I bring up Jamie to distance myself from the guy. They start getting touchy-feely in the creepy "I want to date you" kind of way. So I bring up Jamie and how we're very, very, very serious and completely and totally in love. I also make sure to tell them that no man will ever even come close to comparing. With the this the guy has one of two reactions. The first reaction is that the guy gets pissed off and wants me to leave him alone. Which I am more than happy to comply with his wishes. Or the second reaction is the more common and the one that pisses me off "Oh... Well you make sure to tell him I say he's a really lucky guy." Here's the reaction that goes through my head: "I'm not going to tell him that! How dumb are you? Telling him he's lucky that I'm awesome, from a guy that is paying me because I'm a stripper. Oh my God! You're a genius. That's totally what gets him going. Being reminded that I take my clothes off for money." Here's my real reaction: "Thanks." I get up and leave cause the guys a douche.
-Second reason is to bring myself closer to a guy. I the case of a regular there comes a conversation, farther down the line where they want to know about my personally life. In order for them to feel like they have my confidence and are truly getting to know "me" I tell them about Jamie. I make up fake problems that we. They feel like they can help me talk through them. This allows us to be "closer" and then I make more money. I hate talking about Jamie, but in this circumstance all they get is his name. They don't learn anything about him. They still tell me "he's lucky."

Lucky. He's lucky that I make a lot of money because I take my clothes off. He's lucky that other guys get to touch me. He's lucky that I flirt for a living. He's lucky that thousands of men have seen me naked. He's lucky that something so personal is there for any one to see if they pay the right price.

I don't know how he deals with it as well as he does. He's special. He can keep living and keep loving me even through this job. He is stronger than most. I'm going on my anniversary of working at the club. Jamie and I have been together almost a year and a half. I have been working for twice as long as we've been together. It's hard for me. I don't know how it's not killing him.

You know Jamie is a real lucky guy.