Judgie

Stripping I get used to being judged and feeling prejudices. It's pretty normal in my life. It's rare when I find people that are genuinely interested in what I do. And even more rare to find people that are a) proud of me b) think it's awesome.

I have always had the opinion that I won't hide my job. I know people that do hide it, and I see how badly it back-fires and ruins their life. From the very beginning I have been open and have told people what I do. All of my bosses at my other jobs know that I strip. They are very supportive and we talk openly about it. I don't like my job, but I am not ashamed of it and I will not hide it, come what may.  I have lost friend because of my job. And I have my struggles socially (post about that one fraternity). 

Today the world's view is starting to change. I can see that in my generation. Most people my age are pretty lassez-faire about the whole situation. There are some that are against it and think I'm "evil."  A lot of the older generations are still very against it and the taboo stripping represents. I've been lucky with my grandparents understanding and their only concern is my safety.

There is a harsh reality to my job. A lot of the time when people find out I strip, I can read every thought on their faces. "Oh, she's a prostitute." "She's dumb." "She has no morals." "She does drugs." "She's an alcoholic." "She loves sex." "She's a cheater." People judge without getting to know me. They don't want to know why, how, why. They write me off without any information. I would be lying if I said I don't judge because I do... A lot. I tend judge people all the time. It's funny though. When it comes to occupation and that kind of thing I don't judge very often. Because of my job I do know drug dealers and prostitutes. I don't judge them. I may not like them, but I don't judge because I don't know what happened or their background. I hate the way I feel when someone is judging me because of my job and that person's inability to empathize or understand difficult situations. So, I don't want to do that to someone else.

I am lucky enough to go to a very liberal, progressive college. I am lucky to have the boyfriend that I do, who stays with me through the truly terrible times. This year I met my roommate, Vera, who has become one of my closest friends. I told her what I do the very first day I met her, so that she was aware of the situation. I knew we would become very good friends because of her response "Oh, that's interesting. How does that work?" And it wasn't in the "Ohhhhh (judgment, judgment, judgement) that's hmmm... interesting (slut, slut, slut)." She didn't judge and has been totally accepting and supportive through everything.

Recently I have been growing close to several girls within a sorority that is known for being feminists and accepting. They all find it first, shocking because it's not a me kind of job and second, interesting. They keep telling me they're proud of me. I've never had anyone tell me that because of my job. Since becoming friends with them I've heard "It's amazing you can do that, I would never have the courage to do that." I never thought I would hear that from anyone. For them this is normal, this is how they feel. For me it is so unique and unusual. I have finally found a group of people that I can be me, and just me. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not. I can be honest. I have a hard time fitting in with a group of people because my personality is so eclectic. These girls have showed me that it's okay to work the job I work. That even if my job sucks, it's still an accomplishment that I can do it. I am so grateful to have found friends that support, accept, and respect what I do. I don't know if they'll ever know to what extent all of this means to me.