On My Way Home

So I worked my ass off. And then I took a nice little vacation to visit a friend in San Diego. Where I got to sit on the beach, eat junk food, watch movies, and do absolutely NOTHING!!! The only two bad things about my nice five day vacation, or as I like to call it my runaway from reality, was a) I got very seriously sun burnt (hurts like a bitch) and b) passed out twice in the same night giving me a huge bump on the back of my head and a large gash on my forehead. Yeah! Vacation!

Work before I left was absolutely, terrifically, stunningly shitty. The amount of money I made in eight days I should, or at least USED to, have made in two maybe three. So it's terrible. The only comfort I had was I did WAY better than everyone else. Sorry had to be a little snide.

Now as I come home from vacation the fact that I got sun-burnt is usually not that big of an issue for most people. Fortunately for me I don't have a "most" people kind of job. I have a job that pretty much solely relies on the goods meaning my face and body. SO I have this huge gash on my forehead. That'll be fun to explain to everyone. No worries I can dance fine, I just pass the fuck out when I stand up. No big deal. Those incredibly visible tan lines? You don't like those. What??? How to fix this problem. Well I'll be styling my hair in a new and unique way to cover up my gash. As for the tan lines, lets just pray tanning lotion applied just to the boobs, ass, and vagina looks similar to a real tan!

We'll see how this goes.

My short reality runaway was wonderful otherwise. It couldn't have come at a better time. Unfortunately for me I'm sitting in LAX feeling very sad that I have to leave that beautiful, beautiful beach. And so very sad at the fact that I'm on the red eye. At least I've become a pro at these allnighters!

Work

Work is still sucking. Even with the weather being nicer it is still atrocious. So far all I've managed to do is convince all the men I talk to that I am the perfect girl and far too classy to work in a strip club. I can't say I completely disagree with the whole too classy part, but that doesn't change the fact that I do work there.

I need to go in to work tonight... I am so tired though. I'm tired from over exertion, but my whole body is taken over by a feeling of total emptiness. Sometimes I feel like a shell of who I used to be. Sometimes it is far too hard to breath. Something is sitting on my chest and keeps me from ever feeling completely and totally comfortable in my own skin.

Pain Tolerance

It has been months since I last have written a post. Although it has been at least two months since I worked last.

I have two hours and fifty minutes until I have to get in my car and drive the seventeen minutes to work. I should stay and work a double, but I have decided that six hours will be more than enough for my first day back. I have to go in again tomorrow, and the day after that, and almost every day until April 10th.

Why April 10th? Because I need a vacation. I need to get away. I need to be somewhere no one knows me or wants to talk to me. I need to be alone. So I am going to Coronado, where I will sit on a beach and read a book for five days.

I'm dreading going in to work today. I hate it every day I go, but it has been two months and the longer you are away the harder it is to go back.

This morning I realized I have a fairly high pain tolerance. I got out of the shower and I was drying my hair. I looked down at the floor and saw a pool of blood. Somewhere between getting out of the shower and drying my hair I hit my leg on something. I looked at my leg and saw a big gash and blood running down the side of my leg and pooling on the floor.

I have a high pain tolerance physically...

Right now I just can't bare the thought of returning to that hell-hole in two hours and forty-four minutes...

Managers

I have realized that the manager and assistant manager at my club are stupid. They don't know how to do their job the right way.

Right now the club has experienced a 50% drop in revenue in the last four months. How you say? The managers have stopped doing their job. (Actually they started stopping around the time I started working there... But now they have just decided to take a nap or zombie-style stare at their computer screens their whole shift.) The big boss has started to step in, but he hasn't added anything that has proven to be helpful. I think they need to get a bouncer and a dancer (both of whom are well educated) to run the place because we know how to do it the right way.

So while the managers are taking a big crap on the job, I'm working my ass of for one dance because lets face it, there's one guy in the club and I need that dance.

Merry Christmas. I have no idea how I will pay the fucking bills. Thanks for doing your job.

My New Year's resolution: Win the lottery and leave this fucked-up, hell-hole for ever and ever.

The Effect of Stripping

Never once have I hated myself... Now I do.

I Hate My CoWorkers

I'm sitting at work and I just found out that a good friend of mine unknowingly took my regular. This guy is/was a nice guy and would spend money on me just to talk. He's going through a divorce and has three kids. He liked talking to me because of my smile and the fact that I was genuine and cared about what he had to say.
Well a friend of mine and I shared this regular. This friend told me that my regular is now my good friend's regular. He paid me $75 a week just to sit and talk. I found out that he is spending $1100 a week in VIP on my friend because she's pushier than I am.

If I would have known he had that kind of cash to spend I would have been pushier too. I am so mad right now. I need that money and that was MY regular. You don't take a friends regular.

Just Barely

I'm working at a club that used to be fantastic. But in the last six months it has declined so much in such a short period of time. I used to be able to walk in and make $400 in five and a half hours without even trying. Now, I can't make that much money if my life depended on it.

Last night I worked my first double in months. Usually when I work a double I make upwards of $600. Last night I worked. I was on the floor the whole night and talked to EVERYONE. I only made $95 during the twelve hours I was there. I have never done so poorly. That's a little bit over minimum wage.

I can't afford to quit, and right now I can't afford to work either. It's ridiculous. I don't know what to do.

I'm thinking about travelling and seeing if there is better money in other areas that are still fairly close by. I'm trying to save for the future so that I can quit and have almost all of my senior year in college without stripping, but at this rate I won't be able to quit because I can't even make enough money to pay for my monthly bills.

I'm just really happy I have regulars and I know enough people to make it by.